Me pretending my life isn't a dumpster fire behind this smile
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Mar 01, 2026
freshman at their first Tree Lighting Ceremony speech like
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Dodge Gym locker room's hygiene standards explained in question marks.
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Told my plants to stay alive, they did not listen.
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She’s dropping hair like it’s a lifeline; he’s just gasping for breath.
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You wondering if the group chat is spilling tea about your life.
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The face you make when your Tinder date arrives looking nothing like their profile pic.
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oops i was geeked not spirited now show me out
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Bookshelf whispering: 'This guy teaches at Barnard now?'
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This cat’s judging me harder than a Columbia admissions officer.
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Chinese text on packet
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When the universe is expanding but your coffee cup is empty, and you realize both are equally tragic.
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