Bro spawned with main character energy, still lost everything.
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Mar 01, 2026
Cat’s makeover got me gigglebaiting harder than Surf & Turf lines.
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I accidentally stared at someone in public, they noticed, and obviously my only option is to relocate, rebrand, and never make eye contact again
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Smiles like he slayed, actually contributed nothing.
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Looking fierce since breakfast time.
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Trying to find a working water station in Dodge.
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When group chats die but you’re too broke to leave the convo.
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me throwing away 2020 like the trash it is
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when you expect a gym and get a military airstrip instead
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That forehead's aura could power Columbia's campus for a week.
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The Core Curriculum when half the reading is "optional."
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Just realized I forwarded the email to my ex... yep, that happened.
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