“This is what happens when you say ‘I’ll be there in five’ at Columbia”
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Jan 25, 2026
when the photo looks like dinner and the text says serving suggestion
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Columbia during midterms: Mustard gas, but academic version.
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Capitalism called; it wants my wallet to feel empty too.
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It's giving failed econ, main character meltdown
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bubble baths could never erase this much academic trauma
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You look like a human flagpole, just missing the patriotism.
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freshmen after their first JJs experience and thinking that’s just how food service works here
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The look you give when your ex texts ‘hey’ again
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when you hear your name in a conversation and you're not ready
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Existentialism: choosing meaning between two highlighted dates.
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You’re the reason ‘fun’ has an expiration date.
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